Orphan

This is me.

Dead brown eyes,

A morbidly faked smile.

I am not alive,

I do not know the meaning of the word,

But yet I breathe.

When they talk to me,

I talk back,

But with the hesitance of the dead.

Gone are the carefree days of childhood, present, the painful days of neglect.

I was thrown away.

Forever it will haunt me,

Forever I will cry.

Forever alone I’ll be.

I have made my choice,

A lonely one to make…

A dangerous one to make.

I will not marry.

I will not subject my wife, my children

To my pain.

I will die alone,

Knowing only friendship,

But not real love.

2005.10.12